A few years back when I was really into reading blogs, I used to ponder having my own. It took me ages to bite the bullet & sign up to blogger. Why? Well, the blogs I read were well written & looked professional & sleek. I left school(or should I say ran away from school) straight after my first mock exam. My mind went blank, I stared into space for what seemed like forever & felt my heart beating faster & faster until I bolted out of the hall.
So at plus 40 there I was, sat with a blank screen in front of me wondering what I could write about, wondering if it would be good enough, gees wondering if anyone would even read it! I wrote a few posts, but was never 100% happy with them or happy with the look of my blog. Not being the most tech minded person I didn't know how to make it look better & being a perfectionist I didn't really want to write on a blog that looked NAFF. I did some research & found a company that did blog templates & installed them for not a lot of cash. I shortened my blog name(yes it used to be even longer!) from The diary of a midlife crisis beauty addict to Midlife crisis beauty addict & once I had my shiny new blog up & running I had the bogging bug again.
Things went well for a while there. I got blogging jobs & I enjoyed what I was writing about. Then I started having a few glitches with my fancy schmancy blog plug ins & not being happy with the Instagram pics I was uploading which were also showcased on my blog & it just didn't look right, so I stopped blogging again. I don't think I've ever discussed it here but I suffer with depression & although the glitches with my blog are probably only little things to most, when my brain is that way out I just can't deal with it so I just give up. Hard to understand unless you have depression.
The bottom line is that I miss blogging. I miss the social aspect of it, the meet ups, the events, the sense of pride when a brand contacts little old me & wants to actually pay me to write an article for them. The problem is that unless the post is practically perfect in every way then I just don't want to hit that publish button. Am I being silly? Does anybody else feel this way? Perhaps the perfect blogs that I aspire for my blog to look like have authors who have insecurities too.
Perhaps I'm just too anally retentive to be a blogger. Perhaps someone should just slap me around the face to bring me out of this hysterical hissy fit I'm throwing & say to me, "DONNA, JUST BE YOU & BE PROUD TO BE YOU"!